What can you do when you can’t pray?

I sat in the CVS Pharmacy parking lot.  Here I was, again.  This time I was not picking up a medication for me for but one of my children.  My stomach churned.  I wanted to be at home, curled up under my electric blanket, safe from heavy cares and concerns.  But my child was sick. Not with a cold, or pink eye, or an ear infection, but with a chronic disease.  It was no longer in remission but it had reared its ugly head again.

When faced with the disturbing symptoms, I did not fall to my knees in prayer.  I watched Netflix.  Every time I tried to pray, I was unsuccessful.  I could not think about it.  Facing reality was too painful.  Thinking of the disease wracking my child’s body broke my heart.  Over and over and over.  Every time I would think about it, I was crushed.

So I watched Netflix.  And read romance novels. And went shopping.  Because my fantasy world did not hurt as much as reality.

weakness, pray

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Do you ever pray fractured prayers?

Many people make New Years resolutions at the start of a new year and I know many Christians who chose one word that will be their focus for that year.  For me, “My One Word” for 2016 is “Believe.”  The word comes from Romans 4, where Abraham believed God and he also grew in faith.  I so want to grow in faith and pray faith-filled prayers!   The verse that challenges my prayer life the most is Mark 11:24, “Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you.”

prayers

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