A few months ago I had lunch with a friend at Moe’s. We ordered our lunch, sat down, and had some small talk. Then came the expected question: “How are you?” At this point I always struggle with how to answer. If I’m having a hard day, do I smile and say, “I’m fine” or do I take a risk and choose to be honest? That day, which was a hard day, I took the risk and chose to be honest.
“I’m living broken,” I said.
As my body woke up from a night of slumber, so did the constant fear that rolled over and over in my stomach. I had recently completed a three minute speaker promo video and I had shared it with my family and friends, including a lot of pastors and ministry leaders. I even shared it on Facebook. I was unsure how people would receive it. I felt vulnerable. Exposed.
I was terrified of being rejected.
“Don’t fall. Please don’t fall” I pleaded with the beautiful china plate as I tried to hang it on the wall. I had recently made it with beautiful, sparkly jewels and I was hanging it on my colorful back porch. The plate hanger was hanging over a nail, but I was trying to “engineer” the two together (with a wire) so the plate wouldn’t fall off the nail and break.