Is there any help for us of little faith?

I’m laying on a bed in the ER.  My feet are freezing cold, that’s for sure. An angel dressed in scrubs just brought me a warm blanket and I’m feeling it’s comfort.  My husband is sitting quietly on a bench reading on his iPad, and my teenage children have been left at home, alone.  I’m texting all of my praying friends and distracting myself from the seriousness in the room with Facebook.

Blogging in hospital

My face became numb over Christmas break. It feels like I am the “Man in the Iron Mask” but that iron mask has been super glued to my skin and some mean person is yanking it off.  This feeling is constant, starting when I wake up in the morning and not leaving when I lay my head on the pillow at night. Today the numbness began to travel down my arm so we decided that we needed help.  I tearfully hugged my teenagers goodbye and we came to the ER.  I was scared, not knowing if I would be coming home that night or undergoing brain surgery.

There is a battle going on in my body and a battle going on in my heart.  My faith has been doing somersaults since this crisis began.  I used to believe so strongly that God was my healer.  In the Bible, God says that He is Jehovah Rapha, the Lord who heals you.  The Bible says that by the stripes of Jesus we are healed.  It says that God forgives all of our sins and heals all of our diseases.  I have been declaring those verses over my health and TRYING to believe that they are true.

I used to believe that God was my healer until I saw a 12 year old boy slowly die of cancer.   My faith for healing died with him.

I am ashamed of my faithlessness.  I am an elder’s wife.  I am a ladies’ ministry leader.  I’m a mentor and a blogger and a Bible teacher, too.  I have pursued Jesus relentlessly for 25 years.  How could I be so faithless?  Recently I wrote in my journal, “God, how can I love you so much but believe you so little?”  I feel like such a fraud, and for the longest time I have been afraid that I would be found out.  Well, now you know.

The devil tells me that I am the only one with such a weak and puny faith.  He shames me because I even question that God is good.  He accuses me that no one else but me wonders if God *will* heal me, even though I am convinced that He can.  Many of my friends have a strong, relentless faith and I am embarrassed that I don’t.

I feel like I’m the only one that struggles with my faith in the midst of a confusing and terrifying world.

You, too?

Is there any help for us of little faith?

God must have known that we would need some encouragement because He put scriptures in the Bible about our spiritual growth.   Philippians 1:6 says that God has begun a good work in you and He will complete it.  Hebrews 12:2 says that Jesus is the author and the perfecter of your faith.  Philippians 2:12 says to keep on working out your salvation with fear and trembling because God is always at work in you to make you willing and able to obey His own purpose.

Did you catch the hope in that last verse?   God is at work in you. 

If greater faith is what you need, God is at work in you.

If you struggle to believe that God will provide, He is at work in you.

If you worry and fret over your children, God is at work in you.

If you wonder if God cares about you at all, He is at work in you.

And if, like me, you wonder if God still heals, He is at work in you.

That is our hope in this barren place of doubt and fear and confusion.  God is at work in us.  He will not leave us in this place of immaturity.  He will not leave us in this place of unbelief and faithlessness.  He will not leave us and our faith alone.  He will relentlessly pursue us and will strengthen our faith.

In short, even when we give up on God, God will not give up on us.


That is something that I can believe in.

God, we thank you that you sent Jesus to be our savior because we fall so short of your standards and we need so much grace.  Thank you that you are still working in us, bringing us to maturity, and giving us the faith to believe that You are who You say  You are.  Give us hope that you are not finished with us yet.  Amen. 


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9 thoughts on “Is there any help for us of little faith?

  1. Dear Lisa,
    I am sure you are better by now and I have thanked God for your complete recovery. One note I would add to this blog; I think he made us the body of Christ because I can always believe for your healing with great expectations that it will be done and done swiftly if not immediately. But when it comes to
    My needs I am a mealy mouthed wuss with only a declaration here and a begging there. And I think that’s ok it does reveal in us the truth that lies beneath and when God brings the dross to the surface He skims it off!

    • You hit the nail on the head, sister. This is the best thing Ive heard all day. That is why it seems like everyone elses faith seems so strong and mine so weak…they have strong faith for me, just like I can for them. Thank you!

  2. Amen!! Praise God He doesn’t leave us to our own devices but it is HE who is at work within us … And will never leave us or forsake us!!
    But His ways are not our ways … We cannot always understand. I’m reading Job (and Romans 11:33-39 amen!!)…. And reminded again – yes He is our healer but we don’t always understand his timing. we can know in the meantime that He is God and pray that He will be glorified through this situation. He is God- there is no other! But we want to call the shots. The reflection at the end of today’s reading in Job says “while Job never gets clear answers to the questions we all ask, he gets a clear vision of God. And he is doubly blessed for his excruciating role in demonstrating God’s glory.

    Praying for you, my dear sister!!! Thank you for sharing these posts!

  3. Dear Lisa,
    First, know that God is always in control! We understand that he allows things in our lives to grow us up, purge things out, or just to teach us something he personally wants us to know. I am reminded of Phillipians 3 and Paul’s joy in believing having no confidence in the flesh. Are we not all pressing on to know Christ and the power of his resurrection? I pray God will heal you and increase your faith to believe that he heals yesterday, today and forever! The enemy has been defeated. Stand strong in the Lord!!!

    • Thanks, Lynn, for taking the time to write out these encouraging words to me. I love Philippians 3…that I may know Him, the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings. Thanks for the reminder.

  4. Hi Lisa,
    Annie sent me this BLOG and you are very courageous for sharing your feelings. They are common to those of us who believe in Christ. Many people are unwilling to share them for fear of not wanting to appear to be perfect. However you were so encouraging to us all and showed us that Gods love never requires us to be humanly perfect rather it is our spiritual identity that remains perfect and unseparated from His Love and pure viewpoint.

    • Hi Jenny, thanks so much for reading my blog and for your comment. Part of my calling is to say, “Me, too” to the things that many people are thinking but are unwilling to say. It is hard the encouraging feedback, like yours, spur me on! Your comment was a gift from God to me today. Blessings!

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