Insecurity Lurks Beneath My Trendy J. Crew Outfit

Panty hose – check.
Cocktail dress – check.
Statement necklace – check.
Cute heels – check.

It was the time of year for holiday Christmas parties and we were invited to one with my husband’s coworkers.  I was all set to look festive and fun in my new dress but on the inside I was a complete wreck.

Insecurity Lurks Beneath My Trendy J. Crew Outfit

The month prior, when the invitation came, I panicked.

The dress attire was “cocktail/holiday festive” and the “little black dress” in my closet was over 20 years old. In those 20 years, my body had changed thanks to children and gravity. Fashion had certainly changed, so that little black dress wouldn’t do.  For my birthday, a fashionable friend took me shopping for a new little black dress.

She helped me put together a killer outfit, but sadly it didn’t give me an ounce of confidence, the insecurity was much too great.  My brain, stuck in a profound ten-year-old memory, at the Landfall Country Club bathroom.

Where Insecurity Lurks

In this bathroom, I’m looking at lean, fit, refined women in their sleeveless fashionable little black dresses.  Then I look at myself and I’m frumpy, dumpy, and woefully out of style.

The truth is, I struggle to fit in with the refined, cultured, country club set.  I grew up roaming my grandmother’s cow pastures helping my dad feed the cows, and know more about how to call cattle (OY-EE!), than I do about how to dress for a cocktail party.  I’m not fashionable or fit or classy, and feel like I’m not good enough.

And as I look at my clothing for this next corporate Christmas party, I still feel the same way.

Like I won’t fit in.
I can’t compete.

My insecurity made me compare myself to these women, and believe I’m not good enough.  I don’t have Spanx and my eyebrows aren’t waxed and the only shoes I can wear are for old ladies whose feet hurt.  But I can call a cow – does that count?

My feelings are not unique to just me.

When you go to work, you may look around the table and think that you’re not smart enough.  When you’re at the park, you may see some “super moms” and think that you’re not as good at parenting as them. You may look at your sister and think that you’ll never be as successful as she is.

Will we ever feel like we’re good enough?

And just who says we’re not good enough?

The lie of “not good enough” started in the Garden of Eden.

The serpent, that beguiling liar of old, hinted to Eve that without the knowledge of good and evil that God had, she was not complete.  Not good enough, just like she was.  And Eve bought into that lie and tried to make herself someone who she really was not meant to be.

Just like me, with that fancy cocktail dress and statement necklace, trying to look like a country club girl when really, I’m just a plain country girl without a club.

In that country club bathroom ten years ago, a lie was whispered in my ear as I looked at those beautiful, fit, fashionistas.  A lie that roused insecurity, and told me I was not good enough.  And I believed it, hook, lie, and sinker.  Just like Eve, I took a bite of the apple.

When you are sitting at the conference table and you think everyone else is smarter than you are, you are listening to a lie.  When you are at the park and all the moms seem to outshine you, you are listening to a lie.  And when you are out with your family and the other women seem more successful than you, you are listening to a lie.

When you hear “not good enough” you can be sure that you are listening to that ancient lie that started in the garden.

The lie rouses insecurity.

Stop it!

What is the truth?  When God made Adam and Eve, He said that they were good.  They were complete, sufficient, good enough.  They didn’t need anything more than what He had given them.

Everything that God makes, he calls “Good.”

When He made you, He put the best of His amazingness in you. He made you creative and clever and wise. Made you fun and beautiful and valuable.Click To Tweet

Don’t believe anything otherwise.

Sister, you are good enough.

When you go to the gym,
head to your play date,
make a presentation,
take an exam,
meet with your child’s teacher,
attend a family gathering,
or just head out with the girls,
tell yourself:

“I am good enough.”

And when I head to the next Christmas party, I will do the same.

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