All I could do was stare at the screen on my Kindle. I was in the middle of a great Civil War book, but my eyes glazed over as the words blurred before me. Minutes passed by. No words can describe the depth of despair that I was feeling. Life had kicked me in the gut again.
As I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes with my pillowcase, I prayed for help. What I wanted to pray was that I would just die in the middle of the night and not wake up to my life the next day. I felt somewhat justified in this desire to die. I had found in 1 Kings 19:4 that Elijah the prophet, a man of great faith and power, had also experienced a similar weak moment. He was running for his life from Jezebel and found himself under a juniper tree. There he prayed that he would die. He said, “God, I’ve had enough. Take me now.”
Those were my sentiments exactly.
We’ve all hit moments when we’ve had all that we can take and we are completely overwhelmed by how life has kicked us in the gut:
Our babies get diagnosed with terrible illnesses.
Our children die in tragic car accidents.
Our homes burn down.
Our husbands die of cancer.
We get laid off from great jobs.
We wonder how we will pay next month’s rent.
Our hearts reel as friends betray us.
We go from specialist to specialist searching for relief from pain.
Family members reject us.
Husbands are unfaithful.
It is in these moments that we cry out like Elijah, “God, I have had enough. Can you just take me to heaven NOW so I can be with Jesus?”
We cry out for relief.
When I cried out for relief, I was answered, just like Elijah. But a powerful wind didn’t come down from heaven and heal my body. A cleansing fire didn’t come and heal my broken heart. A landscape-altering earthquake didn’t come and fix all of my problems.
But a still small voice spoke to my heart. It said,
“When my heart is overwhelmed, lead to me to a rock that is higher than I.” (Psalm 61:2)
When your heart is overwhelmed and your emotions are in turmoil, don’t wallow in defeat, wishing to die. Grasp on to that Rock that pulls you up to higher ground. Seek the Rock that is a safe place to regroup. Lean in to the Rock that is solid ground.
Let God’s safely and security be a steadying anchor for the churning waters of your soul.
That Rock will give you peace.
That Rock will give you hope.
That Rock will give you strength.
That Rock will help you to forgive.
That Rock will give you faith.
That Rock will bring you comfort.
That Rock will never forsake you.
That Rock never condemns you.
That Rocks loves and accepts you, just like you are, overwhelmed heart and all.
So that night, as I lay in my bed, my problems weren’t fixed. But my heart had a place to go when the overwhelming thoughts came. And it wasn’t to heaven.
I went to the Rock that is higher than I.
What about you? How is your heart overwhelmed? Leave me a comment, or send me an email. I would love to pray for you.