Over a dozen years ago a praise and worship leader named Paul Wilbur came to Wilmington. He is a talented musician who primarily plays a messianic worship style of music which is conducive to Jewish dancing. Many dancers from churches in Wilmington came together to choreograph Jewish dances for these songs, such as “The Days of Elijah.” My four year old daughter Hannah and I were among them.
Okay, so here’s the naked truth. I was in my early 30s and I was younger than most of the dancers. That meant that I was a bit steadier on my feet and a bit more limber. I had also taken dance lessons since I was very young, so I was a bit more skilled and graceful. I am also a quick learner and I have a good memory, so I caught on to the dances very quickly.
I was an insecure woman in a room full of amazing and beautiful women, so my pride tried to build me up and make me feel better. My pride told me that I was more graceful, I performed the steps better, and even that I was the best dancer. Really.
We all are all guilty of pride. We feel insecure in a room full of people so we try to build ourselves up by tearing others down. We think that our middle-aged aging skin is aging more gracefully than our friends. We think we are able to execute projects at work better than our coworkers. We think that we are better mothers than those we see at the playground. And we are certainly better than our fellow shoppers at Wal-Mart. Better yet, we go to Target.
I knew that my pride was swelling and my humility was vanishing, so in a bold move I asked that God would give me humility.
DON’T EVER PRAY FOR HUMILITY UNLESS YOU ARE SURE YOU WANT IT.
I have found that God always answers a prayer for humility, but His answer is rarely fun.
The night of the concert and dance, I arrived in a beautiful rainbow-colored dress. It was a floor length dress that had been tailored to fit my petite frame, and I felt radiant. But then I had to use the bathroom.
So I took my amazing dancing self into the bathroom, entered the stall, but I forgot to lift up my floor length, full skirt when I squatted. Yes, my long colorful skirt fell into the toilet. And it was not just clean water in the toilet.
Oh how the mighty have fallen! I was mortified. Humiliated. And wet.
This was God’s answer to my prayer for humility. Scripture says that prides goes before a fall (Proverbs 16:18). I tried desperately to dry the back of my skirt with the hot air hand-dryer in the bathroom, but to no avail.
I may have been the best dancer on the stage, but I was the only one with a huge wet smelly stain on my backside.
You may have areas in your life where, out of insecurity, you have built yourself up in pride. This happens anytime you look around the room and you need to feel better about yourself. Take some time and ask God about the areas of your life where you are prideful.
God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. James 4:6
Then, if you are brave, pray for humility. And when God answers your prayer, thank Him for it. You will probably get a good laugh, too.
When we humble ourselves before God, He is able to use us and shine through us, getting all the glory for Himself.
“Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name goes all the glory…” Psalm 115:1
PS It feels like spring here in Wilmington, and I’ve been in my whimsical cottage garden every day for the past week. For the next few months I may only post once a week. Thanks for reading and for your encouraging comments that give me the courage to continue sharing my heart with the world.