I was minding my own business, sitting in my Bible study chair and reading through my journal. God and I were talking about my leadership of my churches ladies’ ministry. I fiercely love the women that I lead, but I struggle with the confrontation that is involved with leadership. I’ve been growing as a leader in this area, but working through conflict is still extremely hard for my sensitive tender-hearted self.
I was reading back through my journal and seeing where God had sent people to encourage me in my leadership journey. I was reading the kind and sweet things they had said when I suddenly burst out in tears. A deep, agonizing prayer came from within me: “GOD, I CAN’T DO THIS WITHOUT YOU.”
I felt my deep need for God in the midst of my ministry. People see me as strong and confident and Spirit-led, but sitting in my Bible study chair, I see what I am really like. Weak. Insecure. Inadequate. Ill-equipped. And as I looked at myself, seeing what only God sees, I knew that I could not be an effective leader without God’s help.
I know that many of you feel the same way. You are leading your ministries and are totally relying upon God to do it. If God does not provide the finances, you can’t build it. If God does not give you the message, you can’t speak it. If God does not send the help, you can’t do it alone. Without God, all of us ministry leaders are all up the creek without a paddle. We can’t do anything without Him.
So I begged God to do what is required in me to allow His spirit to continue to dwell in me. I identified four things that I needed to be:
1) Humble – God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). As long as I recognize that I CANNOT DO IT ALONE God will continue to send me supernatural and physical help.
2) Teachable – When I start to think that I’ve got this all figured out and I don’t need input from God and others, then God can no longer use me.
3) Obedient – This is where the rubber meets the road. When I cease to obey what God asks me to do, even in the small things, I’m no longer able to be used by Him and He has to find another person to use.
4) Surrendered – God can do amazing things in a surrendered heart. Those who have said, “God, I will do anything for you” are perfectly positioned for God to use them in powerful ways.
As long as I am humble, teachable, obedient, and surrendered, then God’s anointing will rest on me and it will empower me to do what He has asked me to do. The supernatural power of His Holy Spirit living in me and through me will complete God’s plans.
It’s okay if I am weak, insecure, ill-equipped and inadequate as long as I am humble, teachable, obedient, and surrendered.
My weakness with my surrender invites God’s help. God can do incredible things in a weak but surrendered woman!
So today, we can collectively take a deep breath. We can acknowledge that we are weak, insecure, inadequate, and ill-equipped. In our humility, we cry out to God that we can’t do the work by ourselves, but He has to supernaturally work through us. And that, friends, is an amazing partnership.
For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. 2 Chron. 16:9a
For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. Ephesians 2:10 NASB