Head hanging low like a guilty child, I slowly make my way into God’s presence. There have been times when I have run boldly into His presence, but today is not one of those days. Today is one of those days that I am struggling to believe that God’s cares about me. I feel guilty for not believing in and standing on His Word. I’m not convinced that God is going to move on my behalf. And as I come before Him, I sadly have little faith that He is going to “fix” my problems. If the currency of heaven is faith, then I am surely broke.
My friends quote Bible verses over me all day long while I drag my own faith behind me like a soiled blanket. And when I come to God in prayer, I feel guilty and sorry for not believing Him. I want to believe Him, really I do, and I feel awful that I can’t. I’m so sorry, God.
Are there areas of your life where you are struggling to believe that God will answer your prayers?
Have you prayed for years for your prodigal child and they still haven’t come home?
Have you stood on God’s word and declared that He is your provider but you still worry about your bills?
Are you asking God once again to heal you of depression?
Are you weary in your battle with chronic pain and you rail at God for not coming to your aid?
Have your prayers for your marriage gone answered?
Is your daughter still stick after all of these years that you have asked God to heal her?
Family – Finances – Health. These are areas where we face great challenges and we turn to the only One who can fix them. We pray and we pray and we pray and sometimes our prayers go seemingly unanswered. Slowly we lose faith that they will ever be answered. We shrink back from God because we don’t think that He’s a good Daddy.
Faith is hard.
In one of my wretched moments of shame before God, I asked Him for a word – any word – to encourage me. He answered so sweetly and gently: “I love you anyway.”
Can it be, that in the wretchedness of our unbelief and doubt, that God loves us anyway? Does God, who acts when we have faith the size of a mustard seed, still loves us even when we can’t even muster up that wee amount of faith?
But God demonstrates His own love in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
He loves you anyway.
If God loved you when you were mired in sin and lost to the world, surely He still loves you when you wrestle with your faith. If nothing can separate you from God’s love, then your doubt does not disqualify you from God’s presence.
When you aren’t sure if God is really good, He loves you anyway.
When you struggle to believe His word is true, He loves you anyway.
When your doubt is larger than your faith, He loves you anyway.
When you are angry because He hasn’t answered your prayers, He loves you anyway.
When you quit coming to Him because you’ve given up, He loves you anyway.
When you think He doesn’t care, He loves you anyway.
He loves you anyway.
Our failures and weaknesses don’t disqualify us and separate us from God or His love. God sent Jesus so that we could be reconciled to Him! We shrink back from God when our faith does not measure up, but God does not shrink back from us. He loves us anyway, weak faith and doubts and anger and all. Because God knows that we will not stay in this place of doubt forever. It is just part of our journey. It’s not the end of our story.
Let’s be bold, girls, and today let’s go again into God’s presence. Even if you have no words to speak, go. Even if your words are spiteful, go. Even if you need to forgive God, go. If you think your prayers won’t make a difference, go anyway. He is waiting for you there, longing for you to come to Him once again.
For He loves you anyway.
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16