Category Archives: Surrender

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When you have nothing left to offer God

Dear blog readers, I usually have a dozen blog posts ready to go “live” online.  After preparing them, some just sit in WordPress, waiting until the time is right for me to post them.  This blog post is over 18 months old but I think it may encourage one of you, today.   And don’t worry – my sweet boy is feeling just fine now.  And I am good, too!  

I put on my walking shoes on a cool fall morning.  God and I needed to have a talk because I was feeling like a hot mess.  I had believed God for fourteen years for healing for my child’s chronic illness and he was sick again.  To say that I was undone by this turn of events was an understatement.  At first I was really scared.  And then I was very angry.  And after a few weeks of walking through spider webs, I just felt numb.

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I want to live more than I want to be in heaven

This story begins, like many of my blog posts, with me worshiping on my knees. My early morning prayer on that Sunday morning was that I would encounter God during our church service, so I was intently worshiping and praying.  I was not thinking about where I would eat lunch!  I did not have any particular prayer requests or pressing needs, so I focused my mind and simply praised God.

And then, out of nowhere, a thought bubbled up in my spirit. It caught me by surprise. From deep within my spirit, this desire voiced itself:

“I want to live.”

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God, is there any hope for us to change?

Tears escape my eyes while worship takes place all around me in the church building.  No one notices me down here on the floor, but God does.  Down on my knees, face towards the floor, I cry out to the Lord.  “Oh God, change me,” I pray with passion.  “Change me so that You can use me. ”

When I peer into my sinful, human heart, I see so many things that I wish weren’t there.  Anger over the actions of people.  Frustration when things don’t go my way.  Disappointment when my plans were stymied.  And it gets worse.  Round and round in my brain swirl hateful words that I long to say.  I want to reject those who reject me and I want to hurt those who have hurt me.  I demand justice for wrongs that I have suffered.

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I’m sorry, God, but I don’t want my calling

We had done it!  My insides jiggled with joy as I sat and looked at the women who had gathered for the Beth Moore Simulcast.  They laughed, they cried, they hugged, they sighed.  The teaching gave each woman a huge dose of desperately needed hope.  I was so proud of the team of women who had come to together to make it happen.

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I was exhilarated but I was also exhausted.  I was the leader – the head honcho – the woman in charge.

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The 6 steps of surrendering to God’s will

Celebrating Weakness was not the name I would have chosen for my first blog.  I mean, come on, have you heard of any important blogs with a name like that?  Surely God was kidding me.  I brainstormed powerful words and tested out combinations. My personal favorite was “TotallyWeakPerfectlyStong.com.”  Catchy and cute, huh?  But in the end, God won, and I surrendered to God’s will for my blog and gave up my own.  CelebratingWeakness.com was born.   Surrendering to God’s will was hard, and this is how I did it.

surrendering to God's will

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When you want to give up your calling and quit ministry

Have you ever been doing something that you know that God has called and gifted you to do, but you just want to quit?  Sometimes walking in the ministry that God has given us is just plain hard.  Recently I have been wrestling with God’s call on my life to lead and to teach.  I have wished that I could just quit being a leader and a teacher, and just serve in the background again.  I know that God has called and gifted me to be a leader and a teacher, but I just don’t want to do it anymore.  It is too hard and it hurts to much.

My fantasy is that I could simply give out food at my church’s Food Pantry and not lead women or teach the Bible.   Somehow handing out bags of rice and beans in my Fantasy Island seems less likely to draw hurtful criticism.

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Sacrificing your surrender on the altar of survival

Sometimes a trial comes when we least expect it.   Mine came this past spring.  I was being used mightily by God teaching a Bible study.  I was experiencing God’s anointing, listening to His voice,and walking in obedience.  I was surrendered to His will for my life and willing to do anything for Him.  I was abandoned to God and perfectly positioned for Him to use me with power.  God had me in His bulls eye, but so did the devil.

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