“Today is going to require a lot of makeup,” I thought as I sat at my makeup mirror. A husband and wife at my church, people I had considered friends, had rejected me. They were leaders in my church and I both respected and trusted them. This was not just a minor bruise…I cried for 5 days. I even woke my husband up one morning, sobbing.
These beloved friends had deeply wounded my heart. In short, my heart hurt.
And on this Sunday morning I was going to see them for the first time since it happened. I was so broken that I wanted to stay home, but why delay the inevitable. So I put on a flashy shirt, lots of lip gloss, and a fake smile to mask my quivering heart.
Lately I’ve been praying a prayer that I know is a fantasy. I’m in a period of transition, between stay-at-home mommy to
“Empty nester” and I’m trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do next. I don’t know what my future holds, but this is my honest, fantasyland prayer:
God, give me a job or a ministry where my feelings don’t get hurt.
I’m wondering if maybe I could be an accountant, because numbers are kind. Maybe I could go volunteer for a local ministry or nonprofit and be their janitor, because toilets don’t talk. In my dreams, I could be a hermit in the mountains, not interacting with anyone.
This is a guest post by my dear friend, Elizabeth Mckenzie:
The phone rang. It was a person very dear to me and she was upset, and had been absolutely mortified. As she explained what happened to me I began to sympathize with how she felt. She told me she was on her way home and she stopped by a family member’s house. Before arriving she was unaware that they had a full house with company. And upon entering the the house her family member’s granddaughter said “What are you doing here? I’m tired of seeing you here!” They all laughed as the child proceeded to keep saying “What are you doing here? It’s you again?” None of the adults reprimanded the child but instead laughed and she did it more.
Something happened in my friend as she stood in that room full of people laughing at her. She felt embarrassed and rejected. Feeling hurt, she made her visit short, not because of what the child said but more so of how the adults responded. Not one person welcomed her as they snickered at the child’s rude behavior. In that moment she felt unwanted and rejected.